I have seen quite a few posts online and articles in magazines, as well as overheard many different women, engaging in this topic of discussion. “Just because I’m a mom, doesn’t mean that’s my identity; it’s not who I am. It hasn’t become me. I am still my own person.”
Maybe that might be true for some people, but it’s most certainly not true for me.
When I became a mom to my girls, and even to my older boys, I was young. I was also selfish and wanted to have time for myself and do things that I wanted to do aside from being a mother. I could totally identify with that statement back then. A lot has happened between having had Alex almost 13 years ago and now, though. Sometimes, life events change people. Sometimes these changes are for the better, and sometimes, they are for the worse. I like to think the things I have been through in this time span have molded me into a beautiful human being, and an exemplary mother.
Now, I can no longer identify with that statement, because now I see things in a different light. I live for my children. I am a mother. It is my identity.
Am I a crazy lady for feeling this way? Some of you may think so. I on the other hand am perfectly content with being who I am and feeling how I feel. I now know that even though I am a Paralegal and have a degree, am a notary, have built strong foundations in the writing world, have been published across the internet and in magazines and more, and even though I am a wife – and yes, my own person – I am called to be a mother. Being a mother takes up most of what time I have in the day. But to get the job done right, in my opinion, it takes that dedication. It takes that time. It takes sacrifice and giving up yourself to live for your children.
I have absolutely no problem with not going out, or getting my nails and hair done, or having a drink every now and then. I have no problem with having to wait until day’s end to get a shower, or have some peace. I have no problem chasing after Richi when he wants to tear across the house in his walker because he needs to roam – even if my feet and legs are killing me.
I’m not saying if you choose not to make your kids who you are, that you aren’t a good parent. I’m simply saying this is what’s right and what works for me.
I would give up anything to make sure my kids had what they needed – and sometimes, what they need is for me to give selflessly of my time and attention, not gadgets and things.
So, for me, yes – being a mother is who I am. It’s my identity. I am a mother. I’m proud of that.