This post is different, and is so atypical to my usual posts. I wanted to share a humorous piece I had just written in lieu of having my tooth yanked (finally) this past week. Here it is. Enjoy!
I wish I could say I miss you, however; that would be a lie.
We’d seen the best and worst of times together, my dear old friend. We’d tasted the sweetest indulgences from our favorite bakeries, discovered and enjoyed the best coffee in the world, and have eaten the spiciest treasures Mexico and Italy have to offer. We’d enjoyed smiles, laughs, and tears together, you and I. You were there when I went through elementary school, when I went camping for the first time with the girl scouts, and when I was married. You were there when my kids were born and I screamed bloody murder, when I had something to say, and every time I was afraid. You were a true friend.
Truth be told, you didn’t have much choice. You were sort of stuck with me, whether you liked it or not. Truth be told, you may have despised Mexican food, or even my favorite ice cream. You might not have liked the sound of my laugh or my voice. You probably hated coffee. I guess that’s why you expressed such hatred for our friendship towards the end. You may have hated me, and in the end – I think you quite did. Matter of fact, I know you did, what with all of the pain you caused me and torment you put me through.
Remember how I always brushed and took care of you, day after day, year after year, and this is the thanks I get?
I see how it is.
I saw our relationship coming to an end when you began throbbing and rotting away. I decided then that I had to do something. You and I just couldn’t coexist together anymore peacefully. Oh, no. When you began waking me up in bouts of pain, causing me to suffer through long, tiring days with no relief, I knew I had to cut ties with you.
That’s when I called the dentist. Sneaky, I know. But I know you saw it coming.
You see, I loved you, dear tooth. You were my friend. But, you drove me away from you. I just don’t understand why you wanted to do that to me. I was loyal to you, until the very end. Why, tooth? Why?
I sat in that dentist’s chair, knowing our time was coming to a painful and abrupt end. It wasn’t over as quickly as I would have liked, but once it was, what sweet relief I felt. I will never forget you, old pal.
Maybe you’re in a better place now. Maybe you’re happy. I know I am. I wish you well, wherever the tooth fairy may have taken you. As for me, I am now moving on. I’m healing. Although I will cherish the memories, I happily bid you a fond farewell.